___________________________________god listens - by adire___

"God Listens".

"God Listens" the billboard says through the clouded, warped windows of the Greyhound bus , and below it the neatly printed legend of "85.9 FM" creeps along the stark white backing.

Religous mass media.

God listens. God advertises. God owns time shares in Fox News Network.

The air feels heavier, suddenly. As though the thousand-times-breathed oxygen within the enclosed space had suddenly grown staler than stale, thick with the oppression of the sudden hovering presence those simple words inspire.

I fight the sudden urge to glance over my shoulder. I know there's no one there.

Smothering sickness. Stifling. Drowning in blood, strangled by the invisible clutch of a choking fist whose fingers feel strange, textureless, grossly soft, as though they are formed of fat alone. I wonder if it is the hand of God, and then I laugh. If such a humorless thing could be called laughter.

Such bitterness, brought on by two words emblazoned in man-high royal blue. Wistfulness, as well. Sometimes I wish for the trusting blindness of childhood.

Life without the rose-colored glasses brings its own sort of blindness. Painful. Cold. Shards of mirror-ice stabbing at the eyes, bringing harsh visions of stark reality. Disbelief. Skepticism. Cynicism.

But I've heard that throughout all of this, God listens.

I've heard.

For some reason, hearing is no longer believing.

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